The Tominomicon

Lonely_Me tries to get Child Porn

2008-03-01T20:18:00.004-05:00

So i decided to pose as a child on a chat site to catch pedophiles within minutes i caught this guy, real sicko, i think I said i was 14 about 3 times and he acknowledged he was 21 numerous times as well. So this is our conversation, keep in mind that the entire time he was talking to me he wanted child porn. I would post the pics i sent him but they are anime pornography/not owned by me so I won't.

Roscoe

2007-08-21T00:41:00.001-05:00

There I was all alone laying in some bushes, minding my own business, when this hot young slut comes up to the Lion statue and passes the fuck out. This, for me, is not unusual, so I walk up to her and I say "I will take you or you can give me that shit willingly." That ol' slut just laid there the fuck passed out so I walked up, sat down, and tore up that hot puss. Finished that slut off with a hot Carl and just as i finished, I looked up and who do I see but my old buddy JoPa smiling down from his saddle seat on the lion. That ol' fuck says to me "you did good kid," and threw me a stogie. I took it, turned around, lit it up and relaxed. I looked back to him and right then, I was in the game! It was the 4th quarter on our own 1 with the score 0-0 and I looked over to JoPa and he gave me that old son of a bitch smile of his and nodded, I knew what to do. I called an up the gut run. I snapped that ball and changed my mind to a hail mary. I had my good buddy Joe Krazachank runnin' up the middle and threw that damn ball as hard as i could, struck Joey in the skull, killed him instantly. I looked over to my old buddy and he gave me a smile, then threw me a fat stogie and we blazed right through the press conference, the murder hearing, the trip to Mexico, and all of my finals. Fuckin' good times man.

LA LA LINDENMUTH

2007-08-06T20:44:00.001-05:00

[All “hey’s” in the beginning replaced with woah’s]

There lived a certain man, in Pottsville long ago
He was thin and long and his ‘stach a golden row
Most people looked at him with pity and disdain
But to Schuylkill chicks he could instill a sense of fear

He could preach his stories like a speed freak
Full of “yea mans” and “woahs”
And he also was the kind of creeper
Employers would fire

LA LA LINDENMUTH
Lover of a good saltine
In God’s game, he is just a pawn
LA LA LINDENMUTH
Jalappa’s greatest love machine
It is a shame that he carrries on

He ruled Austin Powder, and never mind the boss
But oh hey look, he just cleared another car
He sealed his fate, when he got the keys
Now he needs a mate because he can’t cross breed with bees

4’s and 3’s is what the dealer dealt him
In the hand of his life
He once worked as a potato peeler
To pay off a new squirt gun

LA LA LINDENMUTH
Lover of the potted meat
He shot a cat with his BB Gun
LA LA LINDENMUTH
Had a date with Charlie Sheen
Sold his soul to have a meal of Spleen

But when his drinking and lusting for Guers and his hunger for potted meat became known to more and more people, the demands to do something about this outrageous man became louder and louder.

This false prophet’s got to go, Declared the IRS
And the sorters said let us try to help you please
No doubt this Lindenmuth had raided puppy farms
Though he tried to loot, he just broke both of his arms

Then one night some men of Elder standing
Filled a cup, they had no shame
Come and challenge us we kept demanding
But he needed a ride

LA LA LINDENMUTH
Wished he had robot wings
We put some bug spray into his tea
LA LA LINDENMUTH
Had to settle for cardboard wings
He quaffed it all and said “It’s Linden-time”

LA LA LINDENMUTH
Supper of the potted tea
He wouldn’t sort is what he said
LA LA LINDENMUTH
Tony is a dying breed
And so we sorted ill his eyes bled

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

2007-08-06T19:41:00.001-05:00

Separated at Birth?!?!

yes that is Jim Croce on the left and yes, that is Phil Fondacaro on the right. Phil Fondacaro is a midget who was in a lot of movies, I believe him to be related to Jim Croce. Also, Jim Croce may be related to Richard.

A deep Thought

2007-08-06T18:19:00.001-05:00

I think it's ironic when you have a friend and your friend has a dog and that dog's name is the same as your little brother's... also the dog's name is sparky.

2007-05-21T14:02:00.001-05:00

    Tony
Lindenmuth was/will be our savior. In an effort to record the
prophecies, I will now relay to you all the events that lead up to the
restoration of our freedom, by Tony/Space Tony's hands.

    As
a dynamite handler, Tony paid the bills. He worked his job without more
than one hour's rest between shifts in order to maintain his armada. He
received nothing but criticism for his collection of seemingly useless
automobiles, but he took this criticism quietly, for he knew he was
destined for glory and he knew this glory would come about through his
vast array of cars.

    He came to this realization after
a trip to the Schuylkill mountains. He had imbibed countless gallons of
Blackberry brandy and this caused him to release the contense of
himself onto the cold, leafy ground. In this mound he saw a face, a
face he could only recognize as his own. He looked deeply into it, and
it began to speak. "Great Tony, listen well, for your fate and the fate
of humanity of at hand" it said. He replied "No way man, I'm just crazy
man, those dynamite fumes man." The visage told him that what he was
seeing was verily a communique from the future,
but at risk of creating a rift, the mound said, he could only give
limited advice. "10,000 years from now the Mustache forest will be destroyed and its people enslaved, 10,000 years ago The Mustache forest will be saved and what can be avoided will be." and as the face faded,
Tony contemplated its meaning. Was he so inebriated that he could have
imagined it all? "No. This had to be real" he thought, as he sat trying
to maintain his composure and the rest of his stomach's material. And
he drifted off into a dreamless stupor.

    About one week
later, Tony came to The Garage. There he was told of a race, a race not of men, but of suped up tractors, a race that promised to make a man out of
anyone. This race was the Pierogie 500; a lap race around a field
referred to as Fannie's field. Tony agreed to enter. Unfortunately,
Tony's armada had bankrupted him and he was unable to fund a race crew
for the contest. At this point, a squirrelly man, named Jarret Q. Pauly
came onto the scene. Pauly agreed to fund the venture. Why, you ask.
Pauly agreed to fund it because he knew what was to come. Previously,
under his alter ego, Mitch Wolfowitz, he had worked with the Zionist
Jew population on a plan to conquer the world and he saw this as his
opportunity to put his dreams of global domination into motion.

    Tony started a strict diet to prepare for the race. The diet consisted of 500 pierogies each and every day, followed by a generous helping of Guers Iced Tea. Tony gained no extra weight from this diet, mostly because his mustache was feeding from him, and the pierogies provided enough sustenance to keep it at bay.

    This mustache, unbeknownst to Tony, was actually the puppeteer of his entire existence. Before time was time and space was space there was a great forest throughout the multiverse, a forest of mustache fiber. From here the population of the Linden bloodline sustained themselves and flourished. Members of the bloodline included Sinbad the commenian, David Hasselhoff, and Alf. Some may say that these men have nothing in common, to those I say; Don't look at the bodies Sinbad and the Hoff use, look beyond them. Inside the stomachs of these men lives an Alf-Like Creature, a Linden.

    Approximately 10,000 eons into the Mustache forests existence, there was a great battle, a War of the Mustaches. The Muth clan was the ancient ruler of the land, an honorable and wise family renowned for their swift decisions. However, an ambitious group, the Godless ones, The Forsaken Pauly's challenged their peaceful rule. They claimed to have invented a disease that would reduce the Linden appetites to nothing more than beer and pretzeled bread, Turn their fine linen into flanel and Carhartt and turn their men into Bot's. The beautiful language of the Linden's would be lost, as their language would be reduced to nothing but the word "Beiber." All this would be true, if the forsaken unleashed what they called, the J-Virus. The Pauly's leader Ekkeforeasdujarret, Commonly refered to as Jarret threatened the Linden's with slavery and death if they did not kneel to his wishes. They refused, and the war began.

    The Pauly's unleashed millions of JP-1000's to kill the Linden, and all seemed to be lost. Each robot released the J-Virus onto the people and their culture deteriorated. The forest was reduced to ash, nearly nothing stood. The people were captured and taken to the Pauly Headquarters, referred to as Galgatha. There they were kept in cages and sapped of their energy, which was used to fuel the JP-1000's

    That was the fate of all... except one. a small boy, old enough to remember but not to understand was left alive. Some say fate, some say coincidence, but this boy, the last Linden, and a member of the Royal Muth Family knew that he would be eliminated if he did not escape.

    At the same time, with the planet destroyed the forsaken decided to drop the J-Bomb on the planet, wiping out every living thing. The question was raised in their court and was passed on to Emperor Jarret for approval, it was signed and the preparations were made.

    The small boy was planning his escape in a homemade Millenium Firebird, when he saw the bomb falling from the sky. He panicked, looked around for something to take with him to remember his homeworld, he saw a few partially singed fibers on the ground and put them under his lip for safe keeping and left, never to return.

    As he took off, he went into suspended animation to keep him fresh during the long journey, and as he drifted off to sleep he though about what had happened, and dreamed for a brighter future.

    As he slept, the fibers under his nose began to ruffle. A single fiber, who would be called Archibald, rallied the rest. The 327 fibers present decided unanimously to begin a new government and the first act, to graft themselves to the boy's skin. They chose the region underneath his nose for the cool air flow, all the while the boy had no idea what was happening . The fibers ruled similarly to the way the Muth's had. Thousands of years passed, the fibers grew and multiplied spawning children and everything was as it should have been.

As the years passed, other societies grew in the place of the Mustache forest.  The Millennium Firebird, as it was floating in the heavens, ran out of gas and began to fall toward what was being called Earth. The car fell and landed on an immigrant boat carrying people directly from Australia. As the car hit the boat, the boat shattered and everyone on board was killed instantly. The boy swam from the boat and eventually reached The mouth of the Schuylkill River, and began to swim upstream like a salmon.

   

    Eventually he reached the end of the river, in the county of Schuylkill. He climbed from the tea brown waters and began to shake himself dry. A man approached, to chastise him for swimming in the river "Hey you kid get out of that river there." The boy promptly leapt into the man's chest and made a home in his stomach, and this would become the way of the Linden. The man wandered more and came across a dilapidated shack and attempted to gain entry. He got in by way of breaking the door in, and he began to make himself at home.

    A few days later the man was asked, "what is your name?" by a local drunkard he responded "I am The Tony, a Linden Muth." (Tony being the title given to the king of the Linden, and since the man was the only one left, he bestowed the title upon himself).

-------------------------------Too Tired, eventually the Tony will inseminate a beggar woman and begin the bloodline that will begat our Tony and eventually Space Tony.-----------------------------------------------

   

    After
Tony Lindenmuth's sound victory in the Pierogie 500 he will become the
national poster boy for Guer's Iced Tea, as his frequent quaffing of
the beverage, and the superhuman effects it has on him make it an
international staple. This measure of celebrity will get him invited to
all the same Hollywood parties as celebrities such as Carrot Top and
Larry the Cable Guy; but Tony refused to leave home permanently.

    On
one fateful Schuylkill County night Tony received an annoymnous phone
call from the future warning of danger to come. It was revealed that
Tony was set to receive an invitation in the coming days to tour the
Guer's factory at no cost. Space Tony, as the caller came to be known,
revealed that this was a dastardly plot to execute Regular Tony and he
should be wary. Tony wondered if this was the same guardian that
communicated with him through the vomit, but he couldn't be sure.Tony
ultimately refused the advice. He received the call by "Guer's"
(Actually it was the Eagle of Christ, a terrorist group with many
branches headed by Jarret Q. Pauly) and willingly and excitedly took
the offer. About thirty-six hours into the tour, an alarm sounded, it
was the Lehigh Valley Ice Tea Terrorist Alert (a branch of the Eagle of
Christ), a fact to which Tony was aloof. The terrorists stormed the
building and murdered the entire tour group in cold blood, but one man
was left alive, that man was Tony. More dead than alive he climbed
toward the only thing he could recognize, a 3,000 gallon vat of Guer's
Iced Tea. Tony's body, riddled with bullets climbs toward to vat and
was able to push himself in.

    This was the defining
moment of his life. As he fell into the mixture, the tea began to bond
with its counterparts in Tony's mustache and soon, the chunks of flesh
and the bodily fluids Tony had lost in the gunfight were replaced with
fine Guer's Iced Tea. Tony emerged, more tea than man, and dispatched
on the Lehigh Valley Terrorists, they all indeed supped of his poison
mustache fibers that day I can tell you.

Somehow a couple thousand years have to pass here... Person who give a good way to do this is a God

    Old
Crow will by used by Space Tony to stop the Jew powers of Space Jarret.
Space Tony will do this by infusing his 3/4 Guers Iced Tea body with
Old Crow, thusly turning himself into a walking Old Richard. This
development will burn away the false flesh Space Jarret uses to cover
up green, scaly Jew Skin and force him to run to the edges of the
multiverse in his shoddily-made, Millennium Bread Truck.

Again, something funny has to happen here, give me ideas...

    Space Jarret will later be banished to the pits of Girardville, following a second challenge issued to Space Tony  

The Great Space War

2007-05-09T19:05:00.001-05:00

-------------------------------------SECTION TO COME LATER-----------------------------------------

After Tony Lindenmuth's sound victory in the Pierogie 500 he will become the national poster boy for Guer's Iced Tea, as his frequent quaffing of the beverage, and the superhuman effects it has on him make it an international staple. This measure of celebrity will get him invited to all the same Hollywood parties as celebrities such as Carrot Top and Larry the Cable Guy; but Tony refused to leave home permanently.

On one fateful Schuylkill County night Tony received an annoymnous phone call from the future warning of danger to come. It was revealed that Tony was set to receive an invitation in the coming days to tour the Guer's factory at no cost. Space Tony, as the caller came to be known, revealed that this was a dastardly plot to execute Regular Tony and he should be wary. Tony wondered if this was the same guardian that communicated with him through the vomit, but he couldn't be sure.Tony ultimately refused the advice. He received the call by "Guer's" (Actually it was the Eagle of Christ, a terrorist group with many branches headed by Jarret Q. Pauly) and willingly and excitedly took the offer. About thirty-six hours into the tour, an alarm sounded, it was the Lehigh Valley Ice Tea Terrorist Alert (a branch of the Eagle of Christ), a fact to which Tony was aloof. The terrorists stormed the building and murdered the entire tour group in cold blood, but one man was left alive, that man was Tony. More dead than alive he climbed toward the only thing he could recognize, a 3,000 gallon vat of Guer's Iced Tea. Tony's body, riddled with bullets climbs toward to vat and was able to push himself in.

This was the defining moment of his life. As he fell into the mixture, the tea began to bond with its counterparts in Tony's mustache and soon, the chunks of flesh and the bodily fluids Tony had lost in the gunfight were replaced with fine Guer's Iced Tea. Tony emerged, more tea than man, and dispatched on the Lehigh Valley Terrorists, they all indeed supped of his poison mustache fibers that day I can tell you.

Somehow a couple thousand years have to pass here... Person who give a good way to do this is a God

Old Crow will by used by Space Tony to stop the Jew powers of Space Jarret. Space Tony will do this by infusing his 3/4 Guers Iced Tea body with Old Crow, thusly turning himself into a walking Old Richard. This development will burn away the false flesh Space Jarret uses to cover up green, scaly Jew Skin and force him to run to the edges of the multiverse in his shoddily-made, Millennium Bread Truck.

Again, something funny has to happen here, give me ideas...

Space Jarret will later be banished to the pits of Girardville, following a second challenge issued to Space Tony

A Good idea is a good idea

2007-05-03T23:02:00.001-05:00

I'm giving serious consideration to starting a chapter of the Pen 15 club at Temple. I think it's a really good idea... What do you think?

Why joining the Hillary Clinton make me a sandwich group was the best career move I ever made.

2007-04-30T20:36:00.001-05:00

It's was smart because I love women. Follow me on this one...

I love women-

Women (save dykes) love chocolate and dick-

I have a dick-

I love sandwiches-

People love babies-

Women love babies-

Babies make you happy-

Dick provides babies-

Women love my dick-

I love sandwiches-

Women want babies-

Women want dick-

Women want me-

I want sandwiches

Women want me to have sandwiches-

Women love making sandwiches--------Because women love babies.

Ergo... If women want to be happy they need to make me sandwiches, what about that is so hard to understand?

ZOMG!!1 sANDWICHES

 OMG ~~METH~~ sANDWICHES!!

ZWHAT!?! NEIN sANDWICHES?

DOUBLE MEAT 99 CENTS

The Plays

2007-04-17T20:05:00.001-05:00

Has anyone read the Cho Seung Hui plays yet?

    They display a blatant disregard for the safety of everyone on that campus on the part of the VT administration. I can grasp that there must be great number of complaints and suspicious activities that occur on that campus, but what he wrote, that callous disregard for human nature, the inability to understand simple human discourse and the detachment from how the world works all point to how this could have and should have and needed to be stopped early. Cho was a senior in the English program at VT, but he was unable to make the characters in his plays interact like normal people do. All that would have been required of any student or faculty member would have been to go one step beyond recognizing that Cho obviously had a skewed view of the world and human life.

    On all cylinders and at all levels he lacked base societal skills. He should have been in a program at VT that would have helped him cope with this, the plays wanton violence, lack of explanation and sanity are disgusting. I think everyone should read these.

http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/04/17/cho-seung-huis-plays/

A paper I wrote in Freshman Year

2007-04-17T16:53:00.001-05:00

This is probably the best/worst paper I ever wrote... best because the humor still makes me chuckle, and worst because the serious parts are pretty bad... ENJOY!!!!111

In the non-fiction work, Mediated by Thomas De Zengotita the wool is pulled off of our eyes and we are shown how the media has shaped our lives. I found the book to be very informative and eye-opening on the subject of how the media shapes our world and the way we live in it. I cannot think of another non-fiction book which has such a well thought-out message. The book has a very positive message concerning the effects of the media on the way we live our lives.

    In the intorduction to the book we are shown how Thomas De Zengotita reacted when John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the president at that time, was shot from a book repository in Dallas, Texas. Zengotita explains that he was relatively expressionless when compared to the other people in the room. The other people in the room where dance students and others who were reacting to the assasination very extremely, but hell, dance students. You know what I mean? Fuckers seem like extreme bitches by today’s standards.

    In the beginning of the book Zengotita asks us what we would do in a certain situation without any media to help us. This section is called Recalling the Real. In this section we are asked to try to remember what is real in the world and is not controlled by what the media forces us to perceive things as. I liked this section because it was fun and was happy to my palette. I ate this page for two reasons. One I was damn hungry, and two, hey, who else can say they ate that page of that book.

    Following this Zengotita entitles the chapter “Surfing the Opinions” which asks the reader what he or she watches on their home television that does not show an opinion to them. I know form personal experience that this is very true. Our perception of beauty is controlled by what we see on the television. Some people may say Mother Theresa was a beautiful person but not one person would enjoy taking her home to her parents because of her looks. Sure she was a good person but I wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick. At least not in her present state, dead. How every I did find this section of the book to be very informative of how to extricate yourself from the media fat cats who don‘t finish their plankton.

    Zengotita addresses how people refuse to believe these tales in the section entitled “In Denial.”  Zengotita Shows us how we refuse to believe that we are subject to denying that we are under any media control which was highlighted earlier in the text. People refuse to believe this because mainly they’re gay but other than that they like to think that they have complete control over their thoughts and actions, but they were bought and sold decades ago, the shit they shuffle around now… pffft *makes jerking off motion with hand. Zengotita also has about 10 different definitions for real which I really don’t have any time for because I’m a busy man I got bitches to do.

    In the next section the author introduces “The Blob” which is not the 1950’s movie which was remade in the late 80’s early 90’s no sir. This blob refers to the media and all the opinion it has formed for us throughout our lives. We are controlled by the blob, (that is to say, all of us except lord Zengotita, who sits on his tower and pisses on society.) because the blob forms our opinions and tells the populous how to behave we are subject to this creation that Zengotita pulled out of his ass.

    The next section is entitled “The Hard Part. I was fooled into believing this was about erect penises, I couldn’t have been more wrong. “The Hard Part” is about absorbing the other lessons presented in the introduction to the book and coming to terms with them. Zengotita encourages people to realize that their lives have been controlled by the media and with their new knowledge they can see how our lives have been dictated by the media.

    This is where Zengotita begins the second chapter of the book, entitled “Chapter two.” This chapter in broadest terms is is about how we as a society are hopelessly devoted to children and will do anything for them, especially Ed Glenbockie who tries to have sex with pre-teens preeeee-teeeens. We are shown many big words in this chapter and some of the sections are “a collective memoir,” and “Ironic Parenting.” this chapter is highly concerned with the was we treat children and how the blob has affected the children.

    The first section of this chapter is titled “a collective memoir.” This chapter reflects on Zengotitas life as a child in 1950’s America and how it has shaped him as an adult. This chapter also relates the lives of people that are contemporaries of Zengotita to the author. He relates the similar experiences that they have all had like being wholesome and liking stuff from the 50’s like bicycles and comic books and getting crunk.

    Following that section there is a section called “Ironic Parenting.” ironically This section focuses on the irony of parenting ironically and how ironic parenting perpetuates ironic irony in parents. Several reasons are cited as reasons why irony has entered into parenting and how this can be overcome. People in the 50’s began the trend toward idolizing children and now it is being followed up on by the people of today. Richard Rorty is mentioned as a source for this section because he is a skin flute.

    The next section is titled “The cult of the child.” This section is not devoted to any anarchal cult like the cult of the golden calf, of which I am the grand Cyclops wizard of the invisible empire. This chapter refers to the intense religiosity people today have over children. Today people treat children like little racecars that keep in some sort of collectable case and treat with ice cream and stickers and… Morgan Freeman

    .Zengotita’s  novel is very good at delving into the secret world ruled by robots and by wizards. However if the balance is lost then all Hades will be released unto the world. Without putting stringent rules on the sales of moon sapphires there is no way to limit the access to the Gate of Karrash. We all know that the is no way to completely stop the Wizards stranglehold on the sale of shares in Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice. This causes the people of Loompah Land to sell their labor to the mighty despot William Q. Wonka, the Q stands for Qunicy. Thousands of Oompah-Loompahs die at the hands of starvation, AIDS, and Vermicious Canids. “These atrocities can not be overlooked, we must put a stop to Wonka’s misdirection and lies” said Attorney  General John Ashcroft. “The world has, for too long, turned  a blind eye to Wonka’s malevolence.” Said Bill Brasky. Along with Oompah-Loompahs Wonka has also ended the lives several Robots, Eskimos, and Pirates because they refused to work in his labor shops. Wonka spoke out against the allegations directed toward him saying “I am in no way shape or form a despot, White Power!” However one area resident claims “I hear the little boys or whatever they are getting burned alive up in that tower over there, then this smoke comes out of it like it’s a barbecue or something I don’t know if I had those little boys I keep them, you know, touch them or something.” However this brings about an even greater issue, the problem of Oompah-Loompah’s being sold into the Cambodian sex market. “The people of Cambodia love them some fine Oompah-Loompah” Said sole soul member of the Bush Administration, Sonny D-Money. Several members of the asain islands shun the perpetuation of the molestation and rape of the innocent orange-faced, green-haired, singing, things. And a Union is beginning to form to put a stop to the introduction of the victims to the hostile situations. A stop would cause a fissure to develop. You looking’ for a seismic event? well you’re dancing on the fault line. I have seven children what do you want from me ethel. Ethel merman, wow. I’m so exicted, and I just can’t hide it came from beneath the sink. We are the bears shuffling through, shuffling’ on down, doin it for you. Hey you yeah you what’s on you plate? Pasta Fazzoul? More like pasta for fools. Where is it, there, where? No I saw it under the sink no not that sink, it’s right here and I need to see what I need to see, so leave it go. Do you see what I see? Not a star, it’s a big elephant ass, look at it, all wrinkly.

    Chuck Norris could probably kick Andre the giant’s ass. Let’s look at the  facts here Andre: Sure he’s like a thousand feet tall and eats 2-3 babies to sustain his strength (you thought he was dead, however he must hide away until he can find a way to conceal the rage within him). Norris on the other hand is the most influential person to ever walk this earth. He has killed more neo-communists and terrorists than the United States Government could ever dream of. In possibly Norris’ greatest work he pairs up with Lee Marvin for Delta Force. In this movie Norris’ single-handedly destroys an entire terrorist cell for the fun of it. Norris’ academic record is spotless, of course living for 6,000 years has helped this. As you my of may not recall Charles Norris was also known as King Charles the I. Many people inquire as to how Chuck Norris got the rugged good looks he possesses. The answer is simple, back when the Earth was young Charles Norris met with Lucifer to discuss the future of the planet. Now of course at this time Norris was but a pupa and so he sold to Beelzebub his soul in exchange for rugged good looks and a mind boggling fighting ability. However Satan underestimated the resourcefulness of Norris. Using his new found fighing ability Norris roundhouse kicked  satan in the Jaw and retrieved his soul. But Lucifer can’t stay mad at Norris…no one can.

    Throughout the book’s pages people are shown how the corporations have influenced their lives and have controlled how they view the world and other people. However although some people realize this they still refuse to stop it because they feel they can do nothing to stop the media. However one armed with the information found in Zengotita’s book has a distinct advantage in stopping the propagation of the corporations in the world today.  

Immature Love and Rejection

2007-04-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

So I was doing some thinking in IH class today, and with recent events that I've seen transpire I think I've garnered enough empirical evidence to declare a theory on how infatuation and rejection are born and die in the immature mind. Follow me on this one:

You're in HS, or in College with a HS attitude, and you're rejected; Be it Cheating or flat out denial, I think my theories still apply.

You like someone, anyone (This may be unintentionally only applicable to Men, but I'm kind of biased) But you're not getting much of a response, What do you do? Depends on how much confidence you have. If you're overconfident, which would also means you think you're the greatest person you know You'll go hard, and probably fail. But in failing you'll destroy your entire perception of reality, because you only have faith in yourself through your own greatness, and if you fail at something, you will have contradicted your own belief system which will spiral you downward, until you get out, which I'll touch on later.

But is it necessary to fail once to learn this? Yes. Not failing once is like having a thermometer without the numbers, you'll have feelings, but no idea how they rank in the grand scheme of things.

so those who've not failed yet, or, and this is a big or, have succeeded and failed many, many times will have a skewed view of how things work, The former because of lack of experience, the latter because they have memories to cloud their reality, in that they can lie to themselves and say they've succeeded so many more times than they've failed (which may or may not be true) they're actually denying that they've learned this lesson, because it is a hard lesson to accept,the lesson that you're not extremely amazing and getting any.

But back to confidence, I've covered over confidence, but what about under confidence. strangely, this is the safest bet, but you'll lead as depressing life. If you don't have confidence in yourself, there's little chance you'll even find out if someone likes you, because you wont be able to ask. Although, if you do find out the person doesn't like you, you really don't have too much to deal with, because you don't expect much out of yourself anyway. But I'm putting the cart before the horse a little bit...

Previously I spoke about valuing yourself through your own perception of greatness. Looking at it cold and rationally, you can boil down any lack of confidence to the loss somehow of the vehicle you value yourself through. This isn't just people, but for example, imagine you can only value yourself through someone you like, as in, you're only happy when that person shows some semblance of affection toward you, and you turn that into much more than it actually is because you want to be right about it all so much that you're willing to lie to yourself for a little bit of time with confidence. (Inject personal opinion much). I digress, you're valuing yourself through someone else, for those who need it i'll explain how this happens...

You like someone, and you're getting what you interpret to be return signals (the same signals from the previous paragraph). You become confident in what you might deny is yourself (you would only deny this because you think self-confidence is wrong...but give it up... you love yourself). But the person you're really deriving your confidence from is the person you like, because you've allowed them to control your hierarchy of needs, in that they've provided affection, and the possibility of more affection to come. You know you love to feel loved, so now you're going to do whatever it takes to get more affection... congratulations, you've let someone else control your own life.

This is all applicable to things as well, things like a team you're on, a project you have to do, anything like that, though in my own opinion, you'd have to be pretty emotionally unstable to value yourself through something so inconsequential as a team, mainly because you can't control what's happening, but i have seen this scenario played out.

Allright, I'm losing focus, and I need coffee, let me know if you think something needs to be added or i have something wrong, because I'd like to get this right, not that it has much value to me anymore, but I enjoy passing on what I've learned thus far.

Weee

2007-04-16T10:05:00.000-05:00

I am having the best morning of my life. I don't even know why. I drank coffee and listened to The Age of Aquarius and that "I Love you Baby" song over and over and I danced all around my apartment. The best part is that I now have them in my head, so I am spinning around in my TECH center chair and bouncing up and down. There are some creepy ma'fuckrs here and it's awesome. I seriously feel so GOOD. Something awful will have to happen today to screw it up, but i doubt anything can get me off of my high whores. This slut 2 seats away is babbling like a cunt about acorns or some shit. She thinks this shit is humorous. "Coconuts" she said. She just said "too" but it sounded like "tew" I hate her, but I feel so GOOD. I want to meet Don Imus. Can you imagine if he was a mafia Don, then he wouldn't have much to worry about a job. Go Ballzz Deep. Did you know that the most bad ass thing ever said was not said by Bruce Campbell, on the contrary, it was "Rowdy" Roddy Piper who said: "i came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of Bubble Gum." I plan on affixing that to everything I say for the rest of my life. For instance: "I came here to get an auto-loan, and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum" and "I came here for a Cleavland Steamer and to chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of Bubblegum." and finally "Get money Fuck Bitches...." and then something about bubblegum. Two bad broads just came in and are sitting across from me. One just chuckled. What a Twat. They might be speaking another language, yes, they definitely are. It sounds like french. I should say "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir" because I'm a gangster. OK I really have to go to Greek History now. I am seriously digging life right now. The birds are birding, the frogs are frogging and I'm kicking ass.

TTYL Y'ALL

Imus Debate, The real important info

2007-04-11T08:07:00.000-05:00

Jesse Jackson may be a Gay Pirate. I have unconfirmed reports that this picture of him holding a Rainbow poster, and sporting a very pirate-y look on his face.

Also, Don Imus is too fucked up on whiskey and cheap women (Like any good cowboy should be) to remember his children's names. He does not care about or recollect anything from the previous week. I think we should all be a little more like Don Imus and less like whoever we are. He was obviously trying to be like a rapper, if you heard him say "nappy headed hos" you'd know that. I give this whole thing about 3 more days, I know I never cared, so the transition was easy for me. I think Imus should bring Kramer on his show so they can talk about how ridiculous this all is. If Jackson and Sharpton really cared about anything besides making black people hate white people then they'd commit suicide, because those kind of people make me fucking sick and they're the cause of all the racial tension in America.

"But Don Imus called them ho's you say" Well, is there anything new about black women being called hos on the radio? Why don't they do something about it. I won't fight back. Go ahead call me a honky and tell me I can't dance, ask why my clothes fit me. The only problem I have with anyone is that they care too much. Has Imus rolled back years of progress? No. All he's done is say something that he probably shouldn't have said. If you're white, or had a sense of Irony about an old white man in a cowboy hat quoting lyrics from a rap song then you would have found it funny too. I say we all say whatever we want about whomever we want, it'll make things easier, people will know who they're pissing off and change, if they don't, they who cares.

The point is, Imus only did what Rappers have been doing since the 90's, he debased women, it's an all or nothing thing, all objectification gone or as much of it as you can handle, and some you can't. 13 more days.

Tony Snow Has Cancer

2007-03-27T09:09:00.000-05:00

Follow me on this one. "That's what happens to people who lie, they get cancer"- Rosie O'Donnell. Irony at its finest, the White House press secretary getting it.

Bill Schwerskie, A True American.

2007-03-26T14:15:00.000-05:00

Bill Schwerskie was born in 1952 to a family of polish immigrants in Akron, Ohio. He was home schooled solely in the art of shoe repair until the age of seven, at which time he was given the length his father, Ballsanis Schwerskie's, lunch break to learn to speak, read, write and love (the latter aided by a 44 year old diner waitress named "Big" Bertha). at the age of nine he was permitted to enter public school, at 9 and 1 month he was asked to leave for ending the life of the class chinchilla, Space Tony.
Schwerskie held odd-jobs for the next fifteen years, working as a mall Santa, Easter Bunny, Adult video store clerk and janitor, gaining mild notoriety as the first man to buff the entire floor of the local Macy's in under 30 minutes. Schwerskie had long considered this the apex of what he could attain in this life, however, his celebrity carried him all the way to Minersville, PA where he was contracted as the school janitor for the 77-78 school year (often taking sanctuary in the boiler room). Students were proud to call Minersville their high school for that year because of its remarkable cleanliness. Due to his stellar performance he was given a 12 year contract to clean this school, which he gladly accepted. The next years passed rather uneventfully, Schwerskie spent the entire time the in boiler room save a trip to serve his country in Grenada as chief restroom constructor, and a day trip to Atlantic City which broke him financially, mentally, and physically. the latter coming after he was caught making a reprehensible attempt to cheat, by taking his bet and running after he had lost it all on the money wheel table.
The year was 1990 and Schwerskie was growing tired of the cleaning racket. Sure he had everything he always wanted: the ability to set his own schedule, a tv, donuts..and the possibility of more donuts to come. But he yearned for something more. It was then, as he was reading the newspaper he'd stolen earlier from the machine on north and 2nd streets that he noticed an employment opportunity for a police officer in the borough of Minersville. He wondered, "can a man with only one month of formal education fit in among the hoity toity officers of the Minersville police Dept? He was damned sure going to find out.
Schwerskie came to the Borough office and was promptly turned away for a lack of pants. Later, when Schwerskie returned, pants in hand, he was asked to put them on the in the bathroom and sit in the office to await his interview.
When the time came Bill was called into the office and grilled hard to find out what kind of officer he would be, he was asked questions like "Bill, what kind of officer would you be?" and, "Did you shit yourself, Bill?" Schwerskie proved himself to the establishment in one simple demonstration. He walked outside and cold-cocked Jerry Sitkus. He was given the job immediately.
Nowadays Schwerskie spends his time as head patty wagon dispatcher for the Borough, which is done by calling "pieces of shit" at 11 p.m. and later and preparing them to be picked up by his partner, "Big Bad" Bruno. If you are unlucky enough to receive a call from Schwerskie, DO NOT take it lightly, he, or Bruno, will make a woman out of you.

2007-03-21T17:55:00.001-05:00

I'm honestly, really upset that the Olden Twins aren't hotter than they are.

Dannie-Lynn's Daddy

2007-03-21T07:04:00.001-05:00

Why has it taken this long to get a DNA test for Anna Nicole Smith's baby when Maury Povich can do it in a few hours?

Life Ruiner???

Dead

Who's the daddy?

Who knew this Howard Stern would ruin

the name "Howard Stern"

OMG Thsi is teh funneh

2007-03-20T16:01:00.001-05:00

Should have been First!!!!!11

Tony and his sweet sweet Saltines

2007-03-17T20:22:00.001-05:00

Killed a Troll in Elderon

Waiting for my steed

and I was feel almost and sweet as my jeans

I began to comb my sweet mustache

Kurt DM'd My campaign

and sent me on my way to Baldur's Gate

Well I pulled out my harpoon

and my dirty wooden shield

I played it cool while the orc caravan passed me by

Golden Shields, Golden Meade

I prepared to make it mine

and I prayed to every deity I knew

Tony's just another word for, kicking ass every day

kicking, kicking it all around the world

Eating flesh is tasty work, if you're Tony Lindenmuth

Don't let turkeys get in the way

of me, me and my sweet sweet saltines

I came from the dwarven gold mine

and I decided to have fun

The orcs felt the fury of my pole

Their skin felt like leather

In 1/2 an hour they were done

Yeah, their women maybe, could help me some.

I made my final decision, man

I put them on my steed

I was heading for a cave, and then I found it.

Then, I sired half-orc children,

and put them in a cage

To be held there, until I got an idea

Tony's just another word for, kicking ass every day

Kicking, all day and every day.

Eating flesh is tasty work, if you're Tony Lindenmuth

I said, Don't let turkeys get in my way

of me, me and my sweet sweet saltines.

Mmm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Mmm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

Hey, now Saltine

Oh Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Well, I sold all my children

Sold them to a man

I said, "You know my usual"

He handed me a tasty box

Saltines, now

Hey now Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Woo

La-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-la

Hey, hey, hey Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

[instrumental]

la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la

Hey, hey, hey, Sweet Sweet Saltines, yeah

Separated at Birth?

2007-03-14T19:03:00.001-05:00

src="http://www.dockingbay101.com/pics/prez/darkside/palpatine.jpg" height="183" width="187" />

Separated at Birth?!?!

Trump v O'donnell

2007-03-14T15:36:00.001-05:00

Remember trailer park Tuesday on FOX? Remember when the washed up people like Dustin Diamond (Screech) and The Squirrely guy from Welcome Back Kotter (Horshak) Fought? I beleive we should bring that back and have The Donald and The Blob box. Let's take it one step further though, let's have them box to the death. Neither has offered anything to society, and I'll admit I've watched the Rosie O'Donnell Show, and I've read The Art of the Deal but they in no way alter my ambivalence to which one should burn in hell.

I think a grassroots movement could make this happen, and with enough force, we can make it a campaign issue, or maybe even a debate question... "America's current domestic policy has inspired both anguish and prosperity to different economic levels, with that in mind who would take an arm wrestling match Rosie or Trump?"

Use these tabloid pictures with headline I concocted to help you decide who's side your on.

LESBOS GOING AT IT, HAWT!!!

IT'S SOFT LIKE VAG FUR, Wo0T!!1

LOOK AT THE HOT NIP SLIP!!11

PROBABLY THE ONLY HAIR SHE TRIMMED!!!

What would Tony Lindenmuth be like if he lived in the 70's?

2007-03-14T14:56:00.001-05:00

Trick question. Tony Lindenmuth lives in the 70's no matter what year it is.

What would Tony Lindenmuth be like if he lived in the 70's?

2007-03-14T14:55:00.001-05:00

Trick question. Tony Lindenmuth lives in the 70's no matter what year it is.

List of things I hate before I forget.

2007-02-22T10:28:00.000-05:00

People, regardless of anything, who put up the shocker in pictures

-Do you think that because you're showing you knowledge of a moderately obscure sexual act you've gained some modicum of bravado? Are you serious? Logically, and strictly logically, what are you trying to represent? Clearly you want to be on collegehumor.com because you haven't achieved anything worth relaying to your friends back home and you think having 17 likes from brahzasauri and brohams will somehow grant you a reprieve form your inevitable impotence and overall dissatisfaction with life. Put on your AE hat and go home. You have nothing to offer your friends from home or school, your love life is sub-standard at best and your increasingly receding hairline serves as a constant reminder that you are eventually destined to sit in the same sorry lot in life as Milton Waddams.

2. College Students who philosophize outside of philosophy class.
-You know you have guaranteed a slow, painful, and most of all lonely death for yourself now don't you? Your views on life and anything relevant to it are idealistic and uninformed because of your life experience. To gain life experience one must leave his apartment and breathe something besides airborne nacho cheese dust and recycled fart. Your opinions are without substance or meaning to anyone but you. In the next five years you will realize how grateful you should be to your friends for at least pretending to understand or care about what you have to say. Of course, your gravest err was not keeping these bullshit assertions to yourself. No, revealing your ineptitude to everyone you have 6 degrees of separation to was a good idea wasn't it? Now all our suspicions are confirmed. Now we no longer only think about your demise, we wish for it.

An open letter to Jeff from Comcast: Go Home and Die

2007-02-21T13:07:00.001-05:00

You are a sleazy grifter working for Comcast. You came to my apartment and tried to force me into buying your line of liquid shit about me needing cable, and my need to buy internet from Comcast for more than I'm paying now. Your problem for Jeff is two fold:

1) I know an asshole when I see one, simply because it takes one to know one.

2) You are obviously a terrible sales, and regular person.

I know you can provide worthless services for "cheaper than them other guys." Jeff, you are not the run of the mill bad person, by that I mean the kind that knows their lot in life. Jeff, you obviously have no idea how terrible you are at both selling and existing. Now for about 9/10 of the time you were at my apartment you were trying to force a pen into Christina's hand and trying to make her order service. She explicitly stated that we do not want cable, we haven't the need nor the desire to be slaves to the adver-box anymore. Jeff you are obviously a slave of capitalist imperialism and you can not comprehend that someone wouldn't want to watch Good Times or Family Matters and continued you to tell us that you "hook up all the kids at UDel, they all have my number. " Jeff, simply stated, I hate you and everything you stand for. I do not care who has your number, I'm sure your probation officer has your number too, and I know its hard to make a living off of honest work instead of selling crack to children, but give it a shot. Your attempts to market digital cable are as laughable as your goofy-ass, flo-bee haircut and your poorly groomed facial hair. Your approach was as flaccid as your supposed dick. Everyone who has ever met you is disappointed to have done so, including but not limited to parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, prostitutes, Wal-mart employees and amputees. Should you ever have the opportunity to have consensual sex with a woman without money involved, please, please, use any and all forms of protection available, whether this means triple, quadruple, or quintuple bagging it. For someone in your disgusting lot in life I wholeheartedly recommend an extreme form of vasectomy dubbed, castration. You have nothing to offer a-n-y-o-n-e, to make it more understandable, we are all worse off now for knowing you draw breath. Finally, Should I ever make your acquaintance again; Jeff, should I ever make your acquaintance again, you will regret leaving our first encounter with me living. I will verbally emasculate you at every opportune time. At the dusk of each and every evening I will pray for your downfall, Jeff... Go home and die...

a busy day

2006-01-24T23:55:00.000-05:00

Looking bakc on today I realize I did alot. I walked north, which for most people is a bad move, but when it's 9am and you only get panhandled by two people you start feeling lucky. I went to rite aid to procure some coffee for my addiction. I got my drug of choice, the hazlenut cream brand, and continued on to the edge room reservation. now most people would use the common sense approach that if the rooms are all taken up then you should not apply. fuck that. I applied and went on to the SAC to apply for a schcolarship that I wont get (I never do). I bought a pack of stamps because I need to send things to people maybe. after this I got some food, a jr whopper and a chicken fries, i vowed this would be my last tasty meal and that I would enjoy it in the comfort of ym own room, I walked on and noticed the tech center and I thought, hey, why not exploit other people's (the university's) kindness and print off an insanely large amount of paper. the grand total it displayed was 187 pages but it looks like more. it was a guide to the sims 2 nightlife and I had no reason other than ordering the destruction of the rain forest to do it. as i looked ot the floor I noticed that through nothing less than my own sheer genius I put a cup of some marvelous rapsberry tea into the bag with the fries and burger, I believe this qualifies me as somethign between moron and fucking moron. I discarded my fries, my last unhealthy meal, utterly destroyed. being at the low point of my life I walked back to my room and wrestled with my hunger pains. I nopticed that the guy i'm supposed to interview tomorow emailed me and now I actually have to work. bah. after that not much happened, kept up my promice to myself to eat healthy and got whatcould possibly be described as the worst salad ever, played pool following my disheartening meal..lost, won won lost left came back here to the pad and wasted the rest of my day, as you can plainly see, i had a busy day

I am a golden god

2006-01-23T10:32:00.000-05:00

following my many convorations with thresa schartel, I now have an article written about me in the pottsville repulican. If you happen to be an uncivilized, uncultured, penis and haven't read it yet, it can be found at: http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=15980344&BRD=2626&PAG=461&dept_id=532624&rfi=6

In all honesty, I couldnt have better appeased my ego. I now feel that I can die happy, knowing that I have reached a level previously only reached by Ryan Majeskie when he exposed his football coach for a pederass. The article bascally sings my praises and asks people I've worked with here at Temple to describe how great I am. There's no real reason why it was written. I don't belive it deserves to have an article written about it but I wont argue with results, after all, I've been trying to make my self seem great for as long as I can remember, It's about time someone else took up my yoke.